With social media, becoming friends with someone only takes a click of a button. 

That’s all it takes, one quick easy click and you become friends. 

I’m not saying all friendships formed on the whim and terrible but most are. You ain’t down one day and begin to notice that most of the relationships you run into you run twice as fast to get out of them. 

Then you ask yourself, how had I not seen this earlier? 

How didn’t I know that this person had x traits? 

There are majorly 2 reasons for this. One, you didn’t give yourself enough time to get to know them and Two, you ignored the red flags you saw. 

I studied some of my encounters with people and I got to realize that people I form fast friendships with hardly ever last. 

First everything goes smoothly and the person seems like the best individual out in the world. 

Give it a month or 2 and the high starts to wash off. Now the true characters start to shine forth. 

But again I brush it off as me being judgemental until it all blows up in my face. 

Ka Boom! 

My personal experience with fast formed relationships.

From personal experience it’s always best to take a beat. Wait it out. Cultivate that friendship slowly and steadily because that brings the highest return on investment. 

Think of it as a bunch of marbles in a jar and each time they meet one of your values you add a marble into the jar. 

Let’s say they are always there with encouraging words when you are at a low and genuinely celebrate your wins with you. 

In my books that’s a marble. 

Then everytime they don’t meet one of your values you take one out. 

Let’s say they always tend to gaslight you or make you the subject of the joke. 

That’s a marble out or even 2. 

What you notice over time is that you can now objectively evaluate the relationship and know where you stand. 

But when you form fast friendships everything is a marble and you can’t even differentiate between what values you are looking for in a friend and what value you aren’t looking for. 

Where does the need to form fast friendships come from? 

It often stems from being a people pleaser. You cannot stand the idea that some people won’t care about you or like you. 

So you try to form friends with people who should have just remained acquaintances or colleagues. 

You bring people in for a hug when it’s best you keep them at arm’s length. 

Now instead of running or hopping on every train. Take time to study people as you are protecting yourself in the long run. 

Closing Remarks

If there is one thing I wished we did more as humans, it’s pay more attention to our instincts. When you feel an off putting aura from someone don’t just brush it up. 

Figure out why you feel that way. Why does that person just not seem like your type? Why does something keep holding you back from taking that step? 

We tend to interpret that as fear and move on either way but soon we realise that it wasn’t fear when it blows up in our face.