Rejections are painful and hurtful. It hurts to hear the word ‘No’. 

To come to terms with the fact that our great idea isn’t as great as we think it is. 

To see the flaws in our own ideas and thought process, to work so hard on a project and still be told it’s not good enough, That always hurts.

Even when we want to hide behind masks of ‘we never really wanted that good thing’, deep down we know it’s a facade to hide our pain. 

So let’s see how we can overcome rejections as they’re inevitable when you choose to put yourself out there. 

• Acknowledge your feelings: 

The one mistake I see people make is they try to repress their feelings. Repressing your feelings is like pushing a balloon into a bucket of water. The more you push the feelings down, the more the pressure from the water increases until finally it bursts. 

The same way when you try to push your feelings away, you end up acting out those emotions in the worst way possible and oftentimes to people who didn’t deserve it. 

So when you face rejection, acknowledge that you are feeling a certain way. 

You could be angry, hurt, anxious, confused… Just putting a name to the emotion will help you feel better. 

If you hide from it then you’re only delaying your comeback. 

• Give yourself a reality check: 

You just got turned down. Ask yourself why that happened. 

Oftentimes when we get rejected, we tend to overestimate the actual rejection.

For example if we were turned down for a promotion or project at work we feel that we are incapable and generally worthless. 

If we were turned down by a date or crush, we translate that to mean that we are ugly and unattractive. 

We tend to overstate the extent of the rejection. If you were turned out for a promotion, ask yourself why? 

Was it something you did or said? Was there a skill or requirement missing ? 

Oftentimes, the reason you were rejected or heard that No is because there is something you can do to improve your great idea to make it even better. 

You need to focus on that and improve upon your idea. 

• Celebrate your courage: 

It’s not everyone who has the guts to put themselves out there and you did that. 

You sent that email despite how scared you were. You applied for the job. You took that first step even when you didn’t know where the stairs led. 

You were brave and you need to acknowledge and praise yourself for that. 

You wouldn’t have gotten the feedback you got if you had never put yourself out there. 

So celebrate your courage. Appreciate yourself for taking that first step and going after your goal. 

You can now learn from the experience and incorporate it into your future endeavours so it wasn’t all bad. 

Rejections are going to keep on happening. It’s a part of being human so embrace it and reward yourself for trying. 

The problem in the world today isn’t that we aren’t talking about the issue, it’s that we aren’t doing enough. 

We think talk makes up for action but it doesn’t. 

• Practice Self-compassion: 

I saved the hardest for last. We always go easier on others and treat ourselves too harshly. 

Remember the time that friend of yours didn’t reach that goal they set for themselves. Or the moment they were turned down for a major project or by a romantic partner. 

When they cried in our arms, we had kind words for them on standby. We provided them with comfort and warmth and made them see the good sides in the rejection. 

So why don’t you do this with yourself?

We can so easily encourage others when they get rejected but if we get rejected then the world must be coming to an end. 

I am unsure of when we developed this habit but we are harsher when judging our own actions which shouldn’t be so. 

When trying to overcome a rejection, think of what you would have done if it was your friend and not you. 

And then tell yourself those things. Comfort yourself and be kind to yourself because sometimes rejections have nothing to do with you as a person. 

Closing Remarks

Everyday we face some sort of rejection. Either form colleagues, investors, friends, spouse, family, society and even perfect strangers.

It’s inevitable and it’s everywhere. 

So I discussed 4 steps to follow to help overcome rejection. 

Because if we let it, rejection will eat us alive.