There’s a single statement that you should never tell to a friend who is going through a healing phase. 

When in a healing phase, you are trying to do a makeover, you want to forget a past version of yourself and evolve or grow into a newer version. 

During that phase, you really don’t want to be reminded of the past self that you’re trying to forget.

Here’s the one thing you shouldn’t say to that friend; 

“The past you would never have….” and there are different variations to this. It can also come as, 

“When I met you, you would never have…” 

What this does is remind them that they should just stick to their role in life and not evolve. 

Sometimes you may make this statement from a place of love and encouragement but that’s not what your friend hears. What they hear is ‘ I look out of place with this new role so just stick to what I’m known for  best.’ 

Perhaps a friend who is introverted is trying to be more social and attend more events, and then you tell them that you are surprised they’re going out more. This just sends a signal to them that perhaps they are trying too hard and shouldn’t even bother being more social, it would be best if they stay home. 

Closing Remarks

We should encourage change rather than remind them of a past version of themselves, especially when they are still trying to adjust to the new lifestyle. 

And you can encourage them without making references to the past. There’s a quote that expresses this best, 

“People should stop visiting my past, because I don’t live in that building anymore.”