There are a couple of things in my experience both personal and through the lives of others that I’ve seen cause intense arguments between partners when it comes to feminism. 

Dating has never been so complex because now there are various topics for discussion like who pays the bills? 

Do you split it? 

Who takes out the trash? 

Who cooks? 

Who handles the majority of the house chores? 

And while having these conversations can be very tiresome for couples, they are nescessary. During these conversations a lot of things can be said which may be triggering to your feminist partner. 

However, that’s not the focus of this post The focus of this blog is the single worst thing that you can possibly say to your feminist partner and that is, 

‘If I knew you were a feminist, I would never have dated you/ fallen in love with you.’

Here is one reason above all other reasons that makes this comment very hurtful.  If you’re a feminist you’ve been told countless times that you will never find a person who would love you. 

You get that a lot which is why sometimes you subconsciously tell yourself that you’re meant to be alone because as society has pointed out so glaringly, no one would ever love someone with your views. 

When finally you do get into a healthy relationship and everything seems to be going well and then one day in a heated argument, your partner says this to you. 

Old wounds begin to resurface. 

Suddenly the voices of the people who told you this same thing begin to replay on loop like a broken track record. 

It was okay when they said it, it stung a little, yes but now hearing it from the person who was supposed to be by your side through it all, you and your partner vs the world. It hurts and it cuts deeper and lasts longer. 

So even if apologises have been said and all wrongs have been rewritten, that comment still can’t get out of your partner’s head. 

Closing Remarks 

In a relationship, I don’t think people fully understand the weight of their words. 

Even if your partner’s love language isn’t words of affirmation doesn’t mean you can’t still make or break them by what you say. 

So be careful of what you say when in the middle of a conflict because you may be forgiven but it won’t be forgotten.