Today we shall talk about something I dont see a lot of people talk about and it’s how it can feel if you are like a small circle person and all the people or let’s say majority or even the closest person to you within that small circle is a big circle person.

Keep in mind this is not the introverts being friends with an extrovert kind of post because an extrovert or introvert can be both big or small circle people. It might to interest you to know that not all introverts have ‘small circles.’ I know some introverts who have ton of online friends or friends that they invite over so this isn’t streamlined.

What do I mean by a small circle person?

I’m a small circle person and it just means that I have like 4 friends in total. And I’m only really close to one and even that close is kind of distant when others look at it but it’s close enough for me. By close, I mean this person knows what I want them to and that’s just about it. So If you’re a small circle person, you have a maximum of like 5 friends this is inclusive of the people you talk to on a somewhat daily basis.

What do I mean by a big circle person?

Well I’m not one but big circle people have a wide range of friends and acquintances. So theyre really friendly and keep in mind that introverts, extroverts and ambiverts can all fall into this category. And let me also iteriate that there is nothing wrong with either being a big or small circle person and that’s not even the focus of this post.

How do you identify if you are a small or big circle person?

If you want to identify where you fall it’s very easy, scroll through your contact list and note the people you talk to frequently. But chances are if you do not already know then you are a big circl person.

How do I know that? Its because when you only talk to 4 people frequently you know.

A quick side bar here, I chose to be a small circle person okay. It wasn’t forced on me. I’m generally not so friendly the first time I meet someone and in this world that’s the first step to making friends. And I’m very high maintenace so I tend to treat those close to me the same way, hence I don’t have the energy to manage any friends but I do like it when I see people who can.

How it feels like being friends with big circle people?

When you have a small circle, you feel glad on some level because you aren’t involved in a lt of drama and all that. But on another level, you feel like you’re missing out especially when people in your small circle are big circle people.

Why?

Because as a small circe person you don’t have that much going on in your life so you can afford to always pick up the call when they call and respond immeditaely to their texts or even show up to most if not all of their events.

But the issue is, you don’t feel like it’s reciprocated even if it is on some level. Because they are in bigger circles they have more going on in their social lives meanng more people to talk on the phone with, more people to text and ultimatey more people to be emotionally connected with.

So as the small circle person you can afford to put in more effort all the time but they can’t do the same. And again it’s not like they want to it’s because they can’t.

I text probably 1 or 2 people every couple of days but that can’t be comared to someone who has 20 or 30 people that they talk to everyday and they are emotionally connected with like a half of that number.

And before you think how that is possible? Well people rack up friends from different phrases of life like Pre school, High school, Middle school, college, university etc so when they’re older they have a wide portfolio of friends.

Yes I just used the word portfolio.

So as a small circle friend you always feel like you are on a bad pedal while others are in the fore front of your big circle’s life. Even if that isn’t essentially true.

Making it worse, you don’ want to seem needy or clingy so you just hang on until they have made time for you and you enjoy that time with them knowing that they’re trying their best to keep the friendship going and you can appreciate that.

But ultimately you console yourself with the fact that this friend is really good natured and kind hearted so it’s okay if they have a big circle.  

Closing Remarks

As a small circle person I used to hate the fact that most of the other good people I met had bigger circles than I did. But maturing, I realised that everyone couldn’t be like me and there would be no fun in that so instead I have learnt to cope with.

Sure there will be times they respond to my texts late or go weeks without talking but rather than get mad about this, I learnt to accept it as it is and fill my time up with other productive activties.