In this post we will be talking about the dog whistle technique, how manipulators use this trick all the time and how to respond against it.

First, what is a dog whsitle?

I mean we have to know that first since the technique is named after it.

A dog whistle is a training tool used on dogs. When the whistle is blown, the human ear can’t hear anything however the sound causes dogs to experience an excruciating and aggravating pain. Keep this in mind as we move forward.

So the dog whsitle technique is exactly in this format. In which a manipulator will make a statement that is extremely triggering to you and they know that although the comment will come off as natural to everyone else.

The reason for this is because the other people listening don’t know what’s it like for you to have to put up with person so the comment just washes off their backs but most times it won’t wash off yours because like I said it’s triggering and when you react just like they want you, you become the bad guy.

Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you are married to a manipulator. Because that is the reality of some people. Say one weekend, you are hosting dinner for both your family and his. All week you have stressed dealing with work and handling the kids and all that. However, the weekend rolls by and the family is here and you are all seated in the living room.

So because you have been so stressed out all week, you don’t get the dishes done that morning and off hand, your partner says, ‘You are so lazy and do nothing around the house, Look even the dishes aren’t done. I have to get everything done myself.’

Now you’re sitting there fuming because you know that’s a lie and guess who else knows that it’s a lie, your partner however the other parties present don’t. So in a normal way, you loose it and either scream or yell at them explaining how you’ve been stressed all week and you’re tired and all that. But now you just look like you’re whinning to everyone which is exactly want they want or worse off, it comes off as if you’re exaggerating how tired you are.

In this case they have worn, they got a reaction out of you and still made you look like the bad guy.

Or let’s say your supervisor keeps overworking you to the point where you are doing his work alongside yours but at a meeting he throws you under the bus. You may be tempted to just lash out which doesn’t paint you in the best light.

So what do you instead?

You respond instead of reacting. And the best way to do so is to first rein in your emotions no matter how badly they are attempting to bust out of you. Keep calm and respond in a logical manner. Don’t let them get the satisfaction of seeing you break.

And be sure to keep your reply focused on you and not them. So in the first instance, you can something like,

‘I’ve had a really stressful and packed week. I don’t usually leave the dishes out and this just happened because I’m tired today.’

Keep it short and concise. The more words, the more you might let it slip that they got to you.

And for the second situation you can just say something like,

‘I have always perform my task to the best of my ability and I will continue to do so. If there are any concerns about my work performance then we can scehdule a time to have that discussion.’

And that’s on period. Leave it at that.

Closing Remarks

It isn’t always easy to be calm in these situation but you have to. Rather than react and end up looking like the bad guy.

Have you ever had this techniue used on you? Let me know what that experience was like in the comment section.