Do you find yourself falling into relationships with the same kind of people just different individuals? Or do you keep attracting the same set of people and you don’t know why?

There are numerous quizzes online which attempt to tell you the type of person you attracted to. However In this post, we will addressing the 4 types of people you may be attarcted to/ attract into your life and the reason for this.

While good looks, ambition, goals and the likes are some of the parameters many consider, there is more to this than meets the eyes.

To begin with, The Bay Bod/ Bad Girl.

What comes to your mind when you hear this type. You think of the cool kid in a leather jacket, probably smoking a cigarette. Or the gothic girl who talks back to the high school teacher and always gets sent to the teacher’s office.

We like this type so much because they appeal to the hidden rebel within each of us. The part of us that wants to stick it to the man. Little wonder why we enjoy doing tasks until we are told to do them because then the task is no longer fun. This life also whispers adventure with a sprinkle of danger and unpredicatbility. And even better these types walk into the room with that air of confidence and charisma.

No matter how hard life is, they are above it all. However keep in mind that a good relationship goes deeper than this instant spark you feel when you meet this type. Oftentimes, this Bad Boy/Bad Girl types are often so unpredictable that they can’t hang in there for the long haul. At first you might think this a good thing until the relationship reaches a stage that requires stability and reliability.

Secondly, The Reflection.

Hardly one can resisit the urge of looking through a car window when we walk past one. Talk less of resisiting the urge to look into a mirror. Same is the allure of falling in love with someone who is too much like you. The strengths we posses look attractive in someone else but it’s a very thin line to walk on.

These types appeal to you because they help massage your ego and it’s almost like you can see your reflection in them. Maybe it’s  because you can. But a time comes when you begin to see your icks in them, you see their weaknesses, insecurities and challenges that you suffer through them.

This is tough because often times we look for somoen who can remedy our weakness and vice versa. Not someone who has the same shortcomings as we do. With this type, it’s truly like looking yourself in the mirror because you see all of you both your strengths and flaws, and this is a reality check for some people. It is a difficult part of the race to get through but you can get through it.

The Next Type, The Child.

Everyone loves to take care of kids for a while until you have to give them to their parents. It’s nice to have their little cute company for a few hours until you realise that they require way too much energy and attention to cater for but luckily their parents pull up in the drive way to pick them up.

Which is why you never parent your way in a  relationship because soon you will wear out and crave your independence because it will feel like you have birthed a child. The child is someone who constantly seeks attentionand fully relies on you to deal with their problems. This breeds a ground for unhealthy relationship because while you are there to support, you are not a 100% liable for issues in their lives. Why?

Because you have your whole life to manage too. Initially it feels good to help them their problems because it appeals to the side of us that wants to be wanted and useful however over time it morphs into a burden of some sort. Oftentimes the child is seeking a partner who is somewhat of a parental figure to remedy the work that their parent neglected. They need that structure in their lives.

Naturally, the type that follows next is The parent.

The child is usually attracted to this type because they both fill a gap in each other. For someone who lacks self confidence they are easily drawn to this type. Their relationship with their patents early in life may have lacked safety and adequate care. Hence why being with a parent provides that nuturing and love.

According to Jay shetty, It’s a two way street. You either to get with them because they are similar to your parents or because they are the parent you never had. These types tend to want to recreate memories they had with their parents with you or if their parent was lacking in some way they see you as a means to filling this void.

After a while, these types will begin to have needs that you can’t meet, and shouldn’t even be needs in the first place. Please remember that you are looking for a partner and not somone to parent. This relationship becomes unsatisfying for both partners as the partner doing the parenting begins to fall short of catering to certain needs and the one being parented begins to grow weary of the love being shown to them and see these shortcomings as signs that they are not being truly loved.

In addition, We have The Partner.

How you spot a mirage of these type is in sentences like, ‘I’m looking for someone that completes me’ or ‘My better half’.

You want to know the reason for this?

A healthy relationship consists of 2 whole and healthy individuals in their own rights and are looking for someone to complement them and not complete them. There’s a differnece.

The partner doesn’t ooze the confidence and adventure that the BadBod/Girl does. The partner isn’t necessarily your prototype like the Reflection. Nor looking for care like the child. The partner isn’t also looking for someone to parent or control.

A true partner is looking for someone to complememnt them and encourages your individualism, growth and freedom. Rather than feeling chained down, you feel elevated with these types.

Oftentimes, it takes sometime before we spot the partner in our lives They offer stability which is something we often overlook when it comes to relationships.

Closing Remarks

Sit down and consider your past relationships and note what types you’ve attracted in the past and what that says about you as a person. try to see what part of you attracts those types. And always work on yourself before entering into a relationship.