I bet you didn’t know that there are certain words that trigger feminists. In this post, I will be sharing what those words are alternative words and why exactly feminists don’t like to hear such words.

Starting off strong we have, submission.

Even I shifted in my seat a bit whilst typing out this word. If there was a hierachy, I can tell you now that this word would be on top of the most hated word a feminsit can hear.

Why submission though? Because regardless of the dictionary definiton, the word submission paints a picture of domestic violence. Yes I’m putting it out there as it is because when I hear the word submission, the pictures that are coming to mind are those of strife in marriage, the woman being abused physically, verbally and even sexually.

So when in a conversation and someone says, Would you submit to your partner?

What I’m hearing is,

Are you signing up for verbal and physical abuse?

Are you signing up for not having a say in the relationship?

Are you signing up for domestic abuse?

Which I of course I am not signing up for, So I say,’Of course not.’

A better word to use would be compromise. Because inevitably what you are asking your partner is whether they are open to loosening the reins and allowing them into your lives so now it’s codependence as opposed to independence.

So If asked, Are you open to compromise in a relationship? My answer would be different.

Second, we have emotional.

This is not a trigger word for just feminist but women in general. As a note of warning, never tell a woman she is being emotional.

Because emotional paints the picture of lack of control, you know when a 2 year old is bawling their eyes out for no good reason other than to throw a tanturm, yeah that’s the image emotional conjurs.

Although you’re saying emotional, what we’re hearing is you can’t control your emotions.

A great alternative would be, ‘You’re in your feelings’ or ‘overwhelmed.’

Because when you  say, she’s being emotional in her head she’s like let me show you what emotional really means.

Third, we have rape/sexual assualt.

I kid you not when I say everything I hear this word, a chill runs down my spine. Not just for me but for my sister, my friends and every other stranger out there.

The word itself is triggering not to talk of debates on rape. It’s like walking into the front line of a war zone to choose to have a rape debate with a feminist because at the end she will trying to hold herself back from ripping your hairs out.

The issue with these debates are that some of them are just absurb and make me want to scream out loud until my throat is sore.

So approach this topic and the word with caution. I would have given an alternative to this word but there is no fitting alternative. Both words are very triggering and paint an intense mental image and I’m sure you know the picture that comes to mind.

Fourth, we have a phrase. The Iconic ‘As a woman you should…’

Let me tell you now, no sentence that starts this way ever ends up well in my experience and the conversation most times just go down hill from here.

Because often times these sentences begin and end with misogyny. It always has something to do with traditional housewife duties like As a woman you should know how to cook, an alternative would be As a human you should know how to cook. Or just cooking as an essential skill for everyone on the planet.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to understand that cooking isn’t a skill that only women should be tasked with because not only women eat food, everyone does.

Lastly, we have overreacting.

This word is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. It’s a grenade with the pin pulled and KABOOSH!

You would do well to anticipate an explosion in which you most likely won’t come out unscathed.

Never tell a woman she is overreacting. We have 2 main reasons why this is just a death wish or writing your name in the death note. One is because she has been hearing this all her life like women are always told to stop overreacting even for the littlest of things. And Two, if a woman feels comfortable enough to show her true emotions around you then you mean a lot to her, so hearing this from you would do a world of hurt to her.

So there you have it, The Top 5 things never to say to a feminist.

Closing Remarks

I actually had a lot of fun writing this and it was amusing to dig through my memories and think of things that people have said to me that I was offended by and they didn’t get why I was offended. They thought I was ‘overreacting’ but from my point of view, my reaction was valid.

The main goal behind this post is to understand that sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say but what the other person hears. That’s why communication is so hard and a lot of things get lost in translation.

So be more considerate when speaking to others especially with your chice of words.