As a feminist, I’m not afraid to say I can be misogynist without even knowing. It’s not my fault but that of society we grew up in. So I take full responsibility of that and I am working on it.

But the more I try to work on it, the more I discover more blind spots in which I have been misogynist without even knowing. So I decided to come on here and speak about it in a bid to shed light on some misogynist things we do but we don’t know they’re misogynist.

Beginning with the subconcious response we have to how males and females are viewed in society. No one bats an eye anyone at the mention of men sleeping around but its suddenly a problem when a woman does it. We forget that it a man’s body count is rising then so it the females he slept with.

I’ve often heard,’ It’s normal for men to sleep around, but it’s just not right when a woman does it.’

So I ask why is that so?

If the rules are rules then shouldn’t they apply to everyone? If it’s wrong for women to sleep around then shouldn’t it also be wrong for men to sleep around.

In the past, I found myself saying It’s fine if guys do it but as a woman you shouldn’t. And recently, I look back and just wonder what I was thinking back then.

I saw a video on TikTok the other day where a lady was narrating her experience talking to a man who asked her for her body count and said if it was over 5 then ‘she belongs to the streets’ meanwhile his was over 49.

Make this make sense please. If you are going to have a standrad then you should also be able to uphold that same standard, don’t you think?

Second, we have sexual assualt cases. I think society is so used to blaming the victim that we don’t want to acknowledge the truth anymore.

It’s like arguing with someone that Mr Krabs takes advantage of spongebob, and your rebuttal is, ‘Well spongebob is gullible’ That’s no doubt true but it doesn’t excuse Mr Krabs behaviour.

When I was younger and heard cases of sexual assualt at like a club, I would say, ‘Well what was she looking for at the club.’

But now I have an even better question, ‘What was he looking for at the club?’

Now I ask okay so what if it happened at her place, ‘Are you going to ask her what she was doing in her own house?’

It’s very hard to shake this victim blaming because it’s gone on for so long that sometimes we can’t immediately see when we do it.

Let’s take for instance a guy leaks a blue film he created with a lady in your class[I’m using this scenario because it happens often], 9\10 times, the woman will get the short end of the stick and be bullied and belittled even by her fellow females. And the questions that will be asked are, ‘Why did you film it?’, ‘Are you stupid?’ and the likes.

But nobody bothers to ask who the male was in the tape or why he even posted the video online in the first place. It’s none of society’s concern as long as a woman was in the video then she should take the fall.

I tried to avoid it as much as I can but I would like to put out a disclamier that there will be a bit of cuss words from here on down. 

Next, the word p***y which is the street slang for the female reproductive organ is used as an insult to describe a coward.

The word Bitch is to insult a female meanwhile you call a man, the son of a bitch, which actually doesn’t insult him but instead calls his mother a bitch.

You’re told to ‘Man up’ as a phrase to become strong and pull your weight. Masculine paints a picture as strong however Feminie casts a shadow of weak or frail.

The cussing ends here and you can continue reading this piece.

As if all this enough you are constantly asked when you intend to have kids and start a family like that’s your only ambition in life. A family is important but that doesn’t mean I can’t have other ambitions and goals for myself in life.

Cloisng Remarks

These are just some of the ways I see that misygony plays out without us even paying attention to it.

If you have any thoughts on this or even in another way that you think misogony plays aout and I may have missed, you can let me know in the comments.

Also, do you think I should make this a series?