Relationships are tricky and often require patience, respect, sacrifice and probably every other virtue that you can name. And with each past/failed relationship you begin to learn a lesson, each teaching you something you never knew before or rarely paid attention to before.

4 RED Flags in relationships

• Love Bomber
• The Dependent
• The soul searcher
• Control Freak

• The Love Bomber: 

These types will shower you with love and adoration at an alarming early stage into the relationship. They are never short on nflowers, kisses, cuddles, chocolates and affection. They will smoulder you and make you feel cherished to the point that you might start to believe they’re the one although the relationship is still at the very early stages so why you are a bit wary of all the affection you’re receiving, it also feels like just what you needed.

They always call, text and even water your gardens. Perfect right? Wrong because these types will leave you as soon as they realise you aren’t a unicorn because they will have impossible expectations of you, that you know darn well that no person will ever be ready to meet.

• The Dependent: 

This type will inform you that you are the reason they are sober, have a job, get their taxes paid, and have their whole life together. And they will also make it known that once you leave, their whole life will fall apart literary which means they will be back to toxic habits and have their life shattered if you leave.

Naturally you begin to feel remorseful when you can’t match their level of ‘commitment’ because you seem to be their moon, sun, stars and number 1 priority all the time however for you that works a few odd jobs or in college these simply isn’t possible because you are juggling other aspects of your life competing for your time however this doesn’t mean they aren’t your priority but they make you feel guilty for not always dropping everything to take care of them.

Please remember that you are a human being, not a hospital or rehab facility. You should never feel guilty to leave these types because at the end of the day, you’ll end up unhappy.

• The Soul Searcher: 

At first when you meet these types, they feel like a kindred spirit. Finally you’ve found someone who understands you and they will make it clear to you that they have never felt understood all their life. Naturally you are drawn to this type because they feel like a twin flame.

However, what you soon realise is this person is constantly looking for a job, fails to commit anything not even a new location or way of life which means they will also be unable to commit to you. They’re always searching for something more. Congratulations because you’ve just met the poster child for instability, whose definition of soul searching is chasing the next high. And they will leave you off to chase the next high which is often another partner.

• The Control Freak: 

At first these types will come off as the planners and organisers. No need to call to book a restaurant because they already did and have gotten a reservation. This type is fun at first because they plan ahead for all dates and pay for everything. They always seem to be one step ahead which you see as thoughtful at first.

But soon you realise he does all these before you think because he doesn’t want you to think. Because the sky will fall out if you have a different opinion from him. No need to order that plate of french fries because he already ordered a plate of salad while you went to the restroom but you don’t see this as anything because while the fries may be what you wanted, the salad he ordered is what you needed.

You slowly start to realise that all the time and money he spends on you isn’t based on his good will or love for you but rather his need to always be in control of you.

Closing Remarks

If you’ve been in a relationship with any of these 4 red flags, you can share what that experience was like for you in the comments or leave me a mail at writeerspace@gmail.com.

Which of these red flags do you think is the worst and would you avoid at all cost?