We often hear, ‘Do unto others how you wish to be done unto’ or less complicated sounds a lot like, Treat others how you want to be treated.
But that’s not quite right.
How?
Chances are you have tried doing that and still ended up being treated in the worst manner by them. That’s because this technique is setting up for miscommunication, frustration, pain and whole truckload of hurt.
Try this instead.
Do unto others how they wish to be done unto which can also be translated to Treat others how they want to be treated.
This begs the question, How do you know how others want to be treated?

Well that’s simple. Treat them how they treat you. That’s the best indicator of how to apply this technique.
Let me give 2 scenarios. The first will be for a platonic relationship and the second for a romantic situation.
Let’s say you have a roommate or neighbour who is fond of blasting music late at night when you are sleeping and as the good natured person you are, you never raise the volume of your speakers because you understand that it would be noise pollution. You are treating your neighbour/roommate how you would to be treated right?
You are not playing loud music because you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you but here your adamant neighbour/roommate still doesn’t reduce the volume after your several complaints. Maybe they don’t have manners or just don’t care.
Well you know what you do instead? You turn your volume up at the highest preferably when you know they are home and are napping. No one likes a taste of their medicine but trust me this trick is effective. Try it a few times and see if they don’t turn it down.

I have tried this,I moved into a new apartment a few months back and my neighbours are so loud. I have tried talking to them but they couldn’t be reasoned with. So on one of the nights I decide to go read overnight on campus, I plug in my speakers, turn the volume up and put about 4 songs on repeat and I left for the night.
I got so many calls and texts from my loud neighbours saying they’ve been banging on my door and no one is answering, they ask me to lower the volume that they’re trying to get some sleep and all that. I ignore everything and safe to say since that day they have not played loud music in their apartment, they still glare at me occasionally but that is a small price to pay.
The next scenario, and I’ve seen couples make this mistake a lot of times. It’s very often that 2 people in a romantic relationship have different love styles. Where this clashes is that they express love to each other the way they would want to be loved, they handle conflict the way they would want to be treated.
And this rarely works because then the couple begins to feel that maybe they don’t truly love each other or it’s not working out when in fact all they need to do is love the othe person they way they want to be loved.
How do you know how your partner wants to be loved?

Simple, pay attention to them and the gestures of love they do for you because that is how they want to be loved. So if they do more acts of service, you go in that direction. If your partner’s predominant love language is quality time and let’s say yours is words of affirmation. There is no amount of words that you will say that will make up for the quality time and vice versa there is no amount of quality time that will replace the words of affirmations.
You just have to pay attention and people will reveal how they want to be treated by how they treat you whether in a positive or negative light.
Closing Remarks
Have you ever practiced the platinum rule?
Also by the way, this concept was best explained in Let’s go into business together; 8 secrets to successful business partnering by Azriela Jaffe. Although in this book, it was referenced in relation to business partners.
If you are thinking about going into partnership for business then this book is a must read. About rounding up with this book and I can’t believe it’s coming to an end.