This is why journaling doesn’t come easy to you because it either feels forced or you’re not being honest. 

Journaling is as easy as putting feelings to paper but sometimes we don’t want to admit what we are feeling. We always know exactly what we are feeling but we fail to admit it ourselves and writing it down makes it all too real for us. 

I quit journaling properly over 2 years ago because around that time I wrote out my feelings and came back to read it after and was surprised by what I wrote when I was in that state. 

I didn’t ever want to write something so sinister again and ever since then it felt like I was faking it so I became tried journaling because I wasn’t being honest. 

This is why I always remind myself never to lie in my journal. It was my journal and even if I was the only one who got to read it, it did nothing to quell the shameful feeling that I am feeling certain emotions. 

We want to be model persons so badly that the idea of anything less even on a piece of paper bothers us deeply. 

 I’ve decided to keep a journal now and document happy thoughts. On days I feel very pretty and comfortable in my skin I’ll note down what that feels like. On days I hit a milestone and I am happy. On days I’m confident.. so anytime I’m feeling low, I can live through the words on the papers and remember what it’s like to feel that way once more. 

A good thing to also remember is just because you feel it doesn’t mean it’s real. Feelings change.