Stage 1: Confusion. 

This is often the first reaction because as they are the prize how could any woman ever say no? you can’t be serious. it must be a joke. so they’ll press on trying because they can’t understand that you just don’t want them. there must be a mistake, on your part. think again while i keep relentlessly pestering you in hopes that you will reconsider because women can’t make sound decisions. 

Stage 2: Jealousy 

You ain’t even all that. he must have been blind because not only are you ugly, you’re a troll. he didn’t get a good look before but now that you’ve said no, he suddenly came to this realization. you’re not attractive on any level and you want to know a secret, no one would ever want a woman like you. you have a car? a man must have bought it for you. there are other women out there ones who recognize a king like him. now on your way peasant. 

Stage 3: Anger 

how dare you?! how can you say no to him. women must never say no, they must not have free will. you probably missed the meeting where women were told to be silent so he must remind you by shouting or throwing a tantrum. smiles in logical gender. you must be careful here for your safety, be on your way because if there’s one thing men have showed us it’s they’ll harm you for no reason other than they can. 

Stage 4: Denial 

Your rejection of me is not a reflection of anything on me but your fault. in fact your loss. maybe it’s dark out and she didn’t get to see my face properly. maybe i’m too intimidating and she’s never had a real man before. maybe she’s one of those airheads. she’s probably not even smart, or worse a prostitute. either way she’s beneath me and i stooped too low. a modern day kate hardcastle if you will. or maybe and this is just a probability, maybe she’s just not into you. 

Stage 5: Arrogance

I could do so much better than her. why did i forget that? i can have any woman i want aside from all the ones i keep approaching but that’s besides the point. i will infact make more money and then torment more women who will only want me for my money rather than taking this a teachable moment and reflecting on whether or not i can handle rejections. after all women only want rich men so that’s what i will do. 

Author’s note: 

i had so much fun writing this, it was on a whim. i hope you enjoy reading it.