Write_rspace

Breathe, Live & Smile

We all know the Jenga game takes immense concentration to play and it’s often fun when someone loses their composure and knocks over the blocks. 

However this game can teach us a lesson on how to stop being a people pleaser. 

Most times we realize that we tend to change ourselves to fit into the perspectives others have of us. 

We tend to pretend to like a particular sport or feign interest in a particular movie because our friends do. 

We imagine that if we don’t, then the friendship ends. 

And we don’t want that. We enjoy their company too much that we decide to just compromise. We try to fit in. 

Even when they push our boundaries we tell ourselves that it’s not a big deal. 

We will be fine after all there was no damage done, right? 

Wrong. 

The damage was there, we just didn’t see it. It’s like when playing the Jenga game. 

Each boundary that is crossed, each insecurity that is mocked and we say nothing is like a block being removed from the Jenga. 

Slowly and steady. The structure doesn’t tunble at first but after a while instead of a full structure of blocks there are now gaping holes.

So that when society demands that we show up as ourself we have no sense of self and no idea as to who we are anymore. 

Because we’ve put ourselves last and others first, we can no longer pinpoint where others end and we begin. 

This keeps on going on until the structure tumbles down. 

How to apply the Jenga Analogy. 

See each peice of you as a block in the game and realize that whenever you comform to the uncomfortable you are allowing someone chip away at your self esteem/confidence. 

You are allowing them passage to contribute to the choas that will soon cause you to crash. 

Understand this and be aware of your boundaries and speak up when they are being crossed. Don’t just sit quiet and take in, state your displeasure. 

So that slowly you can begin to piece yourself together and have a clear sense of who you are and what your boundaries are.

Closing remarks. 

Know your boundaries and let others know when they cross them. 

If they change then that’s good and if not then you have to move on without them. 

You are more important. 

I hope you found this post insightful and entertaining.


6 responses to “How to stop being a people pleaser using the Jenga game analogy.”

  1. Ar.Jenita avatar

    Woww.. I think this can be applied in every relationship too where people take the other person for granted..
    Its risky to play on people’s emotions, yet friends and families call it humour or teasing or just for fun.. if the victim stand for themselves, rest of the crowd would simply call them humourless person .. I used to walk away from such impolite crowd.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Write_rspace avatar

      You are absolutely right. It’s very easy for people to step on your insecurities and boundaries and play it off as jokes. Comments like;
      you eat a lot,
      Yu are weird for liking _.
      Can go a long way and I wished people stop making those comments because it conditions people to not spread out and just stick to an already written script.
      So I think it’s better to work on drawing your boundaries and letting people know firmly when they cross the line.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ar.Jenita avatar

        Yeah.. the list goes on as you say.. I used to think what will stop those people from doing that.. at least we can forgive those who do harm without knowing.. but there’s this particular group of people who purposely hurt in the name of being a humorous person.. I don’t know how to make them stop.. I am looking for a perfect backlash so that they would think twice before joking ever again.. if you know, kindly do help me..

        I had written once about this so called bully as humour but for some reason I didn’t complete it and it’s still in my draft post.. today I also feel like I should complete that and tell the world to stop their nonsense humour which is never a humour actually..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Write_rspace avatar

        I believe you should finish that piece. With boundaries there is no soft way to go about it hence why you should state firmly that you didn’t find that funny and since they made it once you can consider it a mistake but if they do it again, then it’s intentional.

        And if it’s done again then you can be sure to leave such a crowd and move on completely because you aren’t valued there.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ar.Jenita avatar

        Indeed.. boundaries are to be clearly marked.. I am good at establishing boundaries without words.. but in other cases, I am still figuring out.. once I am clear myself, I think I will be able to finish that draft..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Write_rspace avatar

        I am learning to become assertive with my boundaries and letting others know when it’s been crossed.
        I would love to see the post once it’s up on your page.

        Liked by 1 person

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